How to Find the Perfect Wedding Officiant - Guest Blog by Lauren Snead
A couple months ago, I had the amazing opportunity to photograph Chelsea & Chris’s Los Angeles elopement!! In times of Corona, these two did not let that damper their love. They had a beautiful backyard elopement, officiated by none other than the incredible Lauren Snead! OVER ZOOM!!!! What???
The fact that I haven’t even met Lauren in person yet is insane. She is such an incredible light and brought us all to TEARS during this ceremony! I am so honored to have Lauren as a guest blogger here, giving you all the best tips on how to find the PERFECT officiant for your wedding! (Virtual or not!)
Tell me a little bit about you and how you became a wedding officiant!
Sure! My name is Lauren and I officiate weddings for sentimental, spontaneous couples who are excited to explore their love! I’m also reinventing the concept of “Wedding Officiant.” After attending many traditional wedding ceremonies, I began to notice that couples were missing a huge emotional opportunity to create a meaningful, engaging wedding ceremony that truly celebrated the essence of who they are. Getting married isn’t just about going through the motions; it’s an incredibly rich and dynamic emotional experience that has the power to bring people closer together. And because I couldn’t find anyone else doing just that, I decided to become the Wedding Officiant who would fill that gap!
What is your #1 tip for couples when searching for the right officiant for them?
Start by looking for Wedding Officiants who offer a free 30-45 min video consultation (if they don't, that's your first clue about their level of investment in the couples they work with). Before going into the consultation, ask yourself how you want to feel on your wedding day (for example: happy, present, loved). When you meet with your Wedding Officiant, start to notice if they inspire the types of emotions that you want to feel on your wedding day. If they do, there's a really good chance you've found your match! If not, keep looking. Remember, for many couples, the wedding ceremony is the emotional epicenter of the wedding. Be sure to pick a Wedding Officiant that “gets” you and inspires the kinds of emotions you want to feel on your wedding day!
What are some things a couple should ask their officiant in a consultation?
This is a great question Tida! I’m going to flip this around and reflect on what kind of questions your Wedding Officiant should be asking YOU! The best Wedding Officiants out there are going to be genuinely interested in who you are individually and as a couple. They may ask about your love story, your interests, your values, and what you adore and admire about one another. They will want to learn more about your dream wedding ceremony, what you’re looking for in a Wedding Officiant and how you want to feel on your wedding day. From there, they will tell you about their process, rates and other logistics. If it feels like an awesome fit all, you can then begin to explore next steps together.
How do you know if an officiant is WRONG for you?
You know a Wedding Officiant is wrong for you if you experience any of the following...
They aren’t responsive to your inquiry and take forever to get back to you.
Every interaction feels transactional, like you’re going through the motions but there’s no emotional depth.
They don’t take time to get to know you (aka: they don’t pay attention to the details of who you are and what you’re looking for in your wedding ceremony)
Maybe you like their reviews and they look good on paper, but when you meet with them, it just feels like there’s something missing: they don’t “get” you, they aren’t listening to you, there’s no natural chemistry, etc...
The most important thing is to TRUST YOUR INTUITION. You’ll know in your heart if a Wedding Officiant feels right or wrong for you. Trust that.
What is your tip for couples who feel nervous before their ceremony?
First of all, it’s REALLY NORMAL to feel nervous before your ceremony, especially if you don’t love being the center of attention and/or if sharing vows in front of other people makes you feel vulnerable and anxious. Exhale - you’re not alone!
My best advice is to be very loving, gentle and kind with yourself AND with your partner. Take time every day to reflect on what you’re grateful for and what you love about each other. Do your best to stay present and in the moment (the anticipation of a new experience is generally far more anxiety producing than the actual experience) and when you start to feel nervous, instead of trying to push the feeling away, notice that it’s there, acknowledge it and give yourself some extra love and affirmation. Keep the focus on what this is all about - LOVE! Not just for your partner, but for yourself as well.
Do you travel?
YES! I am based out of the Bay Area, but am happy to travel to officiate your wedding!
Do you have any other advice for couples?
I sure do! Here’s what I’ve learned over the years: When you meet your partner, it’s all about love. When you get engaged, it’s all about love. But when you start planning your wedding, suddenly it becomes all about logistics! (juggling complex social dynamics, balancing a budget and planning a party). What happened to all the love?! Remember that while all those logistics and details matter, ultimately this is about YOU & YOUR LOVE. So take time to reflect on what’s most important to you and how you want to feel on your special day, and make decisions based on that. Love starts within, and blossoms when we are open and honest about who we are and what we want. It’s OK to let this be about you!
Also, hire Tida. She’s the best! :)